We'll do anything to catch fish, but we may deny it the whole time.
Fishermen are a strange lot. We have our favorite spot, our favorite lure, and sometimes even a favorite hat, but that's still not enough.
We want to catch the first, the biggest, and the most on any given fishing trip, and we may sell our souls to do it.
We just won't talk about it.
Anglers only want to catch big fish and lots of them, so they shouldn't be afraid of a little friendly ribbing for the techniques that they use, right? Whether you are fishing in saltwater or freshwater, your fishing gear still needs to consist of a reel with a spool of good fishing line and the ability to use it properly, even for a first timer.
It's just that your old friend might tell everyone in the tackle shop that you like to use your fly rod like a bamboo pole by tying the line to the last eye. The beauty of it is this: Do whatever you want to catch more fish, just let the rest of us know what it is.
Because we'll try it if we think for even a second that it works!
1. Use Strange Lures
Weird lures come in all shapes and sizes. Almost anything by Yoshihiko Ando twists the mind, but if we see one more bottle cap spinner, we'll probably gag. But hey, if it caught a fish once, it has to work again, right?!
2. Catch Strange Fish
It's not that we don't like to admit catching something weird and wonderful, it's just that when we catch a dogfish on a topwater while bass fishing and nothing else, we feel cheated and nobody likes to admit that.
3. Fish Without a License
Day 3 off to a good start @SevenPeaksFest! (btw... @LukeBryanOnline only caught one and this is my third in 30 mins...not that it?s a competition...fishing and Seven Peaks is all about community and good vibes...but if it was a competition...I would be crushing him. Just saying) pic.twitter.com/ce3uKyokD0
— Dierks Bentley (@DierksBentley) September 1, 2019
Sometimes we just get excited on a fishing trip and forget to extend our short-term fishing license (or even buy the darn thing in the first place). Sometimes even famous folks like Dierks Bentley do it.
4. Kiss a Fish
The venerable and beloved Jimmy Houston made this one famous, and we've been kissing fish ever since. It's just that once the beautiful ladies in our lives found out, fish were the only thing we were allowed to kiss for a while. So we stopped admitting it.
5. Let a Shark Eat Your Fish
There are plenty of videos out there that show the aggressive actions that sharks take to steal our hard-earned fish, and if you look at enough of them you will see why it happened. It's because the fisherman saw it coming and let it happen!
6. Catch a Bird
In this case, an owl. Mostly what fishermen catch are creatures like seagulls, cormorants, and other fish eating birds that mistake our offering for something else.
7. Spend Beyond Your Means
We see it, we want it, we gotta have it. The same goes for everything else that will help us kill a deer, shoot more accurately, or camp in comfort.
8. Ruin Your Buddy's Honey Hole
It's bad enough that your best buddy showed you his secret spot, but you just had to go back on your day off and squeeze a few more out of there, didn't you? He won't know because you will never admit it.
9. Make a Fishing Lure Christmas Tree
Actually, you will admit this because you'll be so full of yourself after you do it. Be warned though: your friends might see some of your favorite lures on there and may get some tips that you didn't want to share.
10. Use a Gaff
This isn't really for the saltwater crowd as they have to use a gaff pretty consistently on the open water. It's just that the freshwater boys and girls may get a bit consternated over the use of one since most catch and release fishing is done on inland rivers and lakes.
11. Use a Telescoping Fiberglass Pole
It's not that no one uses a telescopic fishing pole anymore, it's more that genuine anglers wouldn't be caught dead with one. Pack rods are one thing, but this 2019.
12. Scuttle the Boat With Company
Well, being that you did it with your friends next to you, you won't be able to keep it a secret. It's just that you'll spend the rest of your days swearing that it isn't true. Too bad your buddy took some great video.
13. Hold Your Mouth Right, and Other Odd Behaviors
As previously stated, if we think it will catch us more and bigger fish, we will try it at least once. My grandmother always said that when the fish weren't biting it was because we weren't holding our mouths right. She was a beautiful lady and she knew what she was talking about, so I changed my mouth positioning many times.
14. Try to Blow the Fish From the Water
While these two lunatics probably weren't fishing, you still get the point. A lot of wannabe "anglers" have taken it to the extreme and tried to explode their favorite fish out of the water, when all they ever really did was kill anything in the blast radius.
15. Cheat
It's completely based on the almighty dollar and the prestige that comes with it. The hard work that it takes an angler to even come close to getting himself or herself qualified into a tournament is beyond difficult to understand. But it's also past our comprehension as to how they could even consider cheating to do it.
Getting ahead of the fishing game is what we all really want. In the end we can be utterly content with being out on the water or even on the bank, as long as we're out there somewhere.
The one thing that is consistently the most important to all fishermen and women is this: out-fishing our best friend and then letting them know about it.
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