Earning his biggest acclaim with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Bill Engvall has been making audiences laugh since 1990, when the Texas native moved to Southern California to kickstart his career. One of his comedy routines was posted on his Facebook account, and it involves Engvall talking about taking his wife hunting. Much like many others before him, the experience didn't seem to go as planned, and Engvall does a great job of telling the story.
He begins by setting the stage for their joint hunting venture, saying his wife always wants to do stuff together, so he suggests they go deer hunting. Engvall says, "Well, I knew this was going to be a mistake." The first sign of trouble came as they drove to their deer hunting spot. Engvall says they kept passing these deer hunting signs, and finally, his wife asks, "Why do they put those signs up? Deer can't read." Engvall prefaces the rest of the interaction by saying that his wife is the "smartest person" he knows. Nevertheless, he responds, "No, but they do recognize pictures of themselves."
His next sign that it would be a bumpy trip was their contrasting apparel choices. Engvall heads out the way most hunters do in head-to-toe camo, including some on his face. On the other hand, his wife is sporting a yellow jogging suit with white tennis shoes, and she has her purse. Engvall contends, "I'm here to kill a deer, and she's going to take it shopping."
Engvall talks about how they finally get to the stand, and it's the perfect time of day, nice and early, still dark and crisp. He describes the sounds of nature you hear in the stillness when it is so quiet. But since his wife is with him, it's not as quiet as he would have liked. He points out that he hears things from his wife, like heavy sighing and her whispering, "Bill! What are we doing?" There's only one reply to that question, "Well, we are waiting for the deer to show up." Of course, she doesn't quite take the hint and asks another question: "What time do they show up?" as if deer operate on a schedule.
The long-awaited buck finally shows as the sun comes up, truly a hunter's dream scenario. Engvall says it was a 250-pounder with 10 points. He was thrilled until he got lined up to shoot. The majestic buck catches his wife's eye, and she exclaims, "Isn't he cute! He looks like Bambi's dad. Remember, we saw that movie with the kids?"
Engvall tries to get her to stop talking to get to the actual hunting part of the morning. However, he doesn't get that far. "You're not going to shoot him, are ya?" He replies, "What do you think I brought this gun for?" Appalled at the prospect of him killing the deer that looked like Bambi's dad, his wife yelled for the deer to run.
He ends the story by saying, "That is the only time I've ever pushed a woman out of a tree."
One of the commenters offers an alternate perspective, though with a similar ending. She wrote, "Well, I took my husband deer hunting. He was hooked. In return, he took me duck hunting. Bluebird day, nothing's flying. I have never been so bored in my life. So, glad I had a book in my purse." If Engvall ever takes his wife hunting again, maybe he needs to equip her with a book to make things go smoother!
